Why adults date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since ancient times. Affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You would need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major group, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your finances are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.